A Glimpse

Everyone has ups and downs; when they wake up and find a bit more weight on their shoulders and don't understand exactly why. Those days when your most enjoyable tasks become unwanted...or even, too much. So many things can attribute to this; stress, the loss of a loved one, a change in sleeping or eating patterns, temperature fluctuations, negative or positive ions in the atmosphere, lunar cycle, internal hormonal cycle, outside influences, a small virus wearing down on the immune system, etc. Days in which we feel weak or lagging, as though the entirety of ourselves wants nothing more than to curl up under the comfort of a warm blanket and sleep these exhausted feelings away.

I've been struggling with this for quite awhile now, and there are days when I'm so drained by the weight I'm under I have to literally Fight with myself to get a cup of coffee. I s'pose it's not just the normal stress I'm used to breezing through; like water off a duck's back. The loss of my Nuna (My Grandmother) just this past October, is still laying very heavily on this generally happy-go-lucky heart. And for the first time (Just a few days ago) I realized...she's gone. This wasn't a Logical realization, this was emotional. The inner child has finally stopped in her footsteps, looked up with those big, innocent eyes and asked me in that gentle voice, "Where's my Nuna?" and I had to peer into that fragile gaze and convince that innocence that our Nuna's gone and isn't coming back.

*takes a slow breath to steady herself* It's odd how grief works...it's different for everyone, but hurts just the same. I think, another reason for my emotional struggles is because I've been dealing with a pretty nasty chest cold the old fashioned way (Which I don't recommend for those of you without a strong immune system. You got medical insurance, use it and see your Doc. You don't wanna suffer through this like I did) and it's made me physically weak. When I'm weak, I feel vulnerable and am more openly emotional than usual. And in a sense, like the virus, my body and mind is forcing me to heal myself. Making me aware of the things I generally keep buried (not intentionally).

So not only have I been mourning the loss of my Nuna, but due to dreams...I'm still mourning the loss of my Deda (Grandfather) who had past away April '09. I've been seeing alot of him lately in my dreams, which tells me he's very close to me right now. We were very close in life, so this doesn't surprise me that he's keeping an eye on me. Not many of you may know, but I'm very connected the energies that flow within Nature, and I'm very sensitive to the unseen energies surrounding us. So I've been picking up on his presence quite a bit recently, and I had a few short visits from my Nuna (her way of telling me she was okay and that she'd be back again once she was settled). I know the reason why loved ones don't hover around you when they've just crossed over because one, they're getting acclimated to their new surroundings as well as reuniting with those that have also past, and two, they know that being close so soon after hurts more then helps. So it makes sense that my Deda would be around More now because I've had a few years to accept the physical loss and feel happy rather then sad when he's around.

Nuna on the other hand...as I've said, it's really sinking in that she's gone. And there are days, (especially within the last week) that I've felt completely lost. The human mind is such a complex mechanism. And emotions...oh lord don't get me started! *chuckles*

I s'pose this is just a glimpse of what's dancing within the intricate catacombs of my mind, and a partial explanation as to why I haven't been just steam-rolling out stories or other creations. Because I really do love sharing that with you, All of You and I hate myself when I can't get myself to do it due to my heart feeling broken.

But every day is a new start, and since this chest cold is finally ebbing and fading away, I should be back to my spaztic-ball-of-energy-self in no time^_^

And on that note, I must bid thee anon...and I hope that you are All having a wonderful morning/afternoon/day/evening/night <3

-Adieu-

Inner Battle

Ravenous... It slithers through the blood like acid in my veins. But I fight it; jaws clenched in a stubborn line, unwilling to admit defeat. I will not be broken by this thing trying to invade me. 

The chest tightens, a ragged breath. I fight the tickle deep within, choke it down, wait it out. But it persists... Yet I keep fighting. 

Only one of us is gunna make it out alive.

Guess it doesn't know who it's fuckin' with...

Gotta love bein' sick...brings out an interesting side to my usually 'bubbly' personality. And that's not even the darkest part of me... *Grins*

(No worries my luvlies, more ramblings coming soon...)

-Adieu-

Music Soothes the Savage Beast

It flows through me, gently...almost caressing my senses with its enticing rhythms. I can almost feel the beat roll through me, likes waves dancing against a midnight shore. Seducing and haunting as it calms the wild inside of me. Ah yes, nothing quite like it...especially when one is exhausted, the body fighting an internal battle with a stubborn virus that thinks it can lay claim where it's not welcome. *sighs softly* I love listening to music...it's incredibly soothing. It helps ease the chaos of my mind. Well, some of it anyway *chuckles*.

It also acts like a beacon...pulling ideas from the darkness of my imagination like dancing fireflies floating effortlessly within the black. Their soft ambient light beckoning me to reach out a hand to touch that ethereal glow; making it mine.

I want to become lost there within that playful movement; the gentle freedom of being carried on invisible hands that'll take me far away from all the harshness of an existence I never chose. To be bathed in that beautiful serenity of sound and feeling; the sensation of acceptance...knowing that here, I'm loved...by music.

Wow I'm cheesy tonight! *grins* Meh, sickness induced ramblings...whoot! *shakes her head; smiling* Well, it is 1:06am currently and I'm still very much awake. Not that the Monster I'm drinking has anything to do with that...'ahem' *appears all innocent like* lol Honestly, with or without the energy drink o doom, I'd still be a wee bit hyper. Naturally Nocturnal. I enjoy being awake at night...it's calmer, more peaceful. Less light and less noise...(wow that doesn't sound like a certain 'Shined-eyed' beast of a man we all know...lol) And I definitely enjoy the whole lack of 'people'. I got nothin' against people, hell I'm a theatre brat and enjoy dressin' up as a Pirate for Renaissance Faires, which tends to make me a target for pictures, and I'm groovy with that. That could possibly be due to the fact that I'm in my element and I'm more relaxed. Where as in general, I'm tense whenever I go out and am hyper-sensitive to my surroundings.

Damn, I'm all over the place...are you bored yet? *chuckles* Man, I've got some crazy musings dancing in this over-active mind of mine... And not just any musings. The kind of musings that are seductive...  

A terrible growling thunder that feels like silk against my flesh as it rumbles through my ears.

Ya, 'those' kind. *grins* Inspired by a certain 'Muse' that's been hovering very close to me lately and I gotta be honest, I ain't complainin'. Especially after that dream...

-Dream Sequence-

Thick sheets of warm rain drenched me as I peered into the black and was suddenly met by a wall of muscle. Stunned, I blinked and realized I was staring up into two orbs of liquid blue fire that peered almost hungrily into my gaze. I felt the heat surge through me when I became consumed with anger; how dare he get in my way! It was His fault we were stuck on this shit-hole of a planet. If we'd gotten the cells back in time... 

A growl swelled from my chest and weaved through my clenched jaws when I narrowed my eyes, "back off." I snarled and watched the line in his jaw twitch. Guess he didn't like being told what to do.

"What was that?" That dangerous octave danced away from his full lips as he took an invasive step toward me, but I wasn't going to buckle. Not for him, not for anyone.

A very unpleasant smile curled my lips, "are you deaf?" I spat ever so sweetly and noticed a shimmer of silver echo within the depths of his glowing orbs.

Everything became deathly still...even as the rain continued to pelt our forms, soaking us through... I could feel his energy curling off of his body like tendrils of smoke. A thick tension began to swirl within the air, causing the fine hairs along the back of my neck to bristle and stand on end.

Something was about to happen within that thick darkness... As I glared challenge into that living starlight, I could feel a shift in him...as if something had just...snapped.

And before I could react, I was taken completely off-guard by those full lips crushing mine in a devastating kiss...

-Fades to Black...for now-

Ya, I know...I'm'a tease *giggles* but not to worry, there's more *winks*. Which I will finish and post accordingly, depending on if ya'll would like to read it. Thing is, it definitely wasn't a PG-13 type of Dream either, so it'll have an R rating. And this lil blog o doom Is R friendly, but I'm a bit shy about posting R related stuff. (Which is funny cuz I've won an award before for writing a very Smutty story based off of Sean Vetter from A Man Apart...*clears throat and appears all innocent like* ...anyhoo...)

So...ya, now that I'm sorta blushin' here, I'm gunna end this here blog of goodness and possibly scribble s'more of that dream down...may even add some Juicier tid bits for extra flavor *winks* haha alright, enough of my silliness!

Take it easy my luvlies! *huggles tight*

-Adieu-

Wow...You Guys Rock!

It's only been a few hours since the launch of the Page and there's already 19 Likes O.O I don't know what to say... I'm not only blushing a very interesting shade of red currently *chuckles* but I don't know how to convey how incredibly Grateful I am...

It truly means the world to me, to know, that so many wonderful souls enjoy my writing. *smiles brightly* I've always been a bit bashful about my creative works, and because of this, I'm always really surprised when others enjoy what I've created. And man...I can't tell you how much You (Yes, All of You) truly Inspire me to create more! It's sounds kinda cheesy, (and let's face it...I can be quite the cheese-ball lol) but it's true.

From the bottom of my squishy little heart, Thank You. Truly, Thank You for joining me on this new journey.

*huggles everyone tight*

P.S. (Update) The Second Installment to [Wild Fury] will be posted Tomorrow. Be sure to keep an eye out ;)

-Adieu-

[Wild Fury] ::Part 1:: The Scent

Darkness swept a gentle hand across an eerie landscape… Broken buildings rising haphazardly toward the heavens; like sleeping monoliths peering out with sightless eyes, watching their world with a knowing silence; forever remembering the horrors that brought their once majestic city to a terrible end; pain and struggle etched into their crumbling foundations for all to see…

Here, in this graveyard of memories, we lay our scene. Where two wandering souls, each containing their own hidden universes of secrets, cross paths; convinced that they, alone, were all that was left…

And find…that not everything is what it seemed.

*  *  *

He moved within the silence, an aura of death encasing him like an invisible blanket as predatory eyes watched his every movement. He was absolutely fascinating to observe; unlike the other humans the creature had seen; this one felt...different. The calculating steps, the power within his movements...the quiet knowing within that stoic expression as he peered out into the darkness with the most intriguing set of eyes.

Intense blue fire shimmered within his depths... Not so unlike the gaze that held him as he continued on his path deep into the night.

The creature suddenly became listless, wanting nothing more than to trail those silent footsteps... A familiar scent calling out from the darkness...

She had to follow him.

Her body danced in the quiet of his wake as she matched his speed and followed him deeper into the shadows. There was a strange pull about him; as though he gave off a faint blue glow that became her beacon within the black. Heart beat steady, eyes fixated on this interesting target...she crept closer, using every ounce of cunning  to remain as hidden as possible...

He knew he was being followed; had since a few yards back. Some thing was trailing him with the ease of a predator stalking its prey. But there was something about his new shadow that eased the intensity to turn and attack; an innocent curiosity that seemed to dance playfully within the cool breeze that whispered past. A ghost of a smile threatened to pull at his lips when that same breeze brought along with it a new scent... A rich aroma that stung the back of his throat and made his entire body tense in reaction. The delicious fragrance of a woman...

Been a long time since I've smelt beautiful... He mused inwardly and decided he'd continue forward... Just to see where this might go...to see how long she could keep up.

...and wondered...

If she tasted as good as she smelled...

-To Be Continued-

And it Begins...

Good morrow everyone! It's currently 12:21pm and I'm still workin' on muh delicious coffee o doom as my body continues to fight the random 'pre-spring' virus that's finally hit me after hitting everyone else. And man...it's such a beautiful day here by the ocean!

A cool sea breeze dancing through the open windows as a warm sun showers the landscape. A perfect day for a new start.

And today, as some of you may already know, is the day that a wonderful friend of mine has lovingly pushed me to begin my 'Official Author Page' on Facebook. I thought about creating one in the past, but I honestly didn't know if I had what it took. I kept fearing that I wouldn't do it right (don't you just love unneeded anxiety?) and never got around to it. But how do I know if I'll be good at something if I don't at least Try? So with her encouragement and endless enthusiasm, as soon as she brought the idea to my attention...instead of fearing what I'd do Wrong, I decided to just go for it.

I'm still nervous, seein' that in a sense, this is kinda new to me. I'm a dork, I know *chuckles*.

Anyhoo, this lil blog thingy o doom will be connected to the Page. It just made more sense to have the two working together, and possibly make it easier for those of you interested in my creative works o doom, to find what stories or posts you've missed here.

I'm goin' to do my best to keep everyone up to date and entertained, and hopefully...this will turn out to be something we can all really enjoy. ^_^

And on that note muh lovelies, time to get some more coffee into this tired body of mine, and then I shall scamper off to more...writing...and shtuff...of doom?

*grins*

-Adieu-