Venus In Furs

I sit down, my Nightmare Before Christmas Thermos full of delicious coffee goodness as I set it down to my left and open Pandora and the first song that begins playing is Lou Reed & The Velvet Underground's, 'Venus In Furs'. If you've never listened to it, I suggest you do... It's slow, rhythmic and very haunting. It brings an interesting scene to mind...

Shrouded in night, a large bonfire illuminating the darkness with eerie hues of golds and reds, casting playful shadows on the faces that ghost by. Just a large group of people enjoying the early spring night filled with laughter. A group of nomadic, gypsy like misfits enjoying their time together as the night carries on.

Basically all of us Rennies hanging out after hours at a campsite somewhere *chuckles* Pretty fitting, right?

Today looks to be interesting... It was sprung on me yesterday by the hospital that they wanted to have a small meeting today with Dad and Myself, to go over what they're trying to achieve with having him there. Apparently he's been feeling good enough to start threatening them that he's going to leave. He gave them til friday. I don't think he quite understands what that means if he does come home, which is why they want to have this little meeting in the first place.

Where he is, he's receiving palliative care. Which is a step up from simple Hospice. He's also surrounded by Docs that can adjust his medication whenever need be because of how quickly his Ammonia Levels fluctuate. *pauses for a moment as Creedence Clearwater Revival's, 'Green River' starts playing* Now, he may be feeling a bit more like himself, but they're still a little weary about sending him home so soon. They know his past history of being in the hospital for a time, seeming to be well again, and after they release him, not more than three days later he begins to spiral downward again. They want to make sure he doesn't have to come back to the hospital again after just a week of being home again.

*Chuckles as The Doors', 'Moonlight Drive' starts playing* Seriously? *chuckles shaking her head* I always get the best soundtrack for writing my blog.

The thing is, if he ends up coming home because he just won't listen and that's what he wants, then they're going to have to explain to him that he'll be receiving In-Home Hospice. That's generally Not the lesser of two evils. Not to my knowledge. They really want to get him well, or at least as well as he can be considering his Liver is no longer in service. The whole point to him being there, is to figure out what really works for him (they're also creating a sleep aid specifically for him so he doesn't have to be up all night anymore) get him in the best shape they can and then they'll have absolutely no problem with letting us bring him home. He's only been in the Retirement area for less than a week and at first he was totally happy being there. That obviously didn't last long.

So today's gunna be just, fun... *sighs softly and takes a drink of her coffee*

I love my Dad and I just hope he's coherent enough to understand what they explain to us today. That's all.

Random Video Time!

And on that note...I needs me more coffee and some waking up to do...XD

-Adieu

Coffee, Good Music and a Beautiful Day

Crisp air caresses my tired form as I fight to regain some heat back into my numb fingers after sitting outside to marvel at the beauty of another morning. The rain has finally dissipated, allowing the sun to break through the misty cloud layer, revealing a snow kissed mountain in the distance. It appears more like powdered sugar lightly dusted along it's dark surface.

As I sit here, recalling the beauty of nature... A live version of 'Hotel California' begins spilling through the speakers. Sometimes, Pandora has an eerie way of playing the right kind of music that goes along with my mood. *gives a small smile* It's honestly one of my all time favorite songs...and always causes something to ease in my chest when that haunting beat slithers through my ears.

*takes a drink of her strong coffee of doom and laughs as Deep Purple's 'Smoke On the Water' starts playing*

Considering everything going on right now, I'm feelin' relatively more like myself again. Maybe it has to do with that fact that Spring is ever nearer and that has always given me a charge. Also, knowing that Dad is in a better state (despite his rough moments) and is SAFE really takes a weight off of me. The only thing that jabbed me a alittle was yesterday, when he called around 1pm and proceeded to use me as his verbal punching bag for his frustrations. When he's like that, I know it has more to do with his ammonia levels fluctuating. I got off the phone feeling as though I had disturbed a nest of vipers somewhere deep within my stomach and they were none-too happy about being jostled awake.

*gives a slight shrug and lets out a soft sigh*

He's going to have his ups and downs, and I just have to remember he's never going to be quite the same again. He's become more or less crotchety and has moments where he's real mean...and uses me as his personal sounding board. I just have to suck it up, keep quiet and let it pass because honestly, there isn't much I can do or say to make it better.

*grows a lopsided smile as The Doors 'Soul Kitchen' begins playing*

Pandora definitely has a knack for playing the best kind of music when I'm writing.

*takes another drink of her coffee* 

In other random news of doom... I've found my camera and have been snapping way too many pictures again. Oh and as I write this, Gir just flew up and ninja-hugged me...so he's now on the back of my chair, hugged me and just leapt over to the bed before he lost his balance... Oi XD

Anyhoo, yes...pictures'n'junk. I've also been taking several snap shots of these cute lil ladybugs that have been showing up on our little bench on the front porch. One is bright yellow orange, another is more tangerine and the smallest is red. No idea why they've started using my front porch as their sanctuary, but I don't mind *smiles* It's nice to have company when I'm out there by myself, even if they act more decorations than little creatures.

*laughs as AC/DC's 'You Shook Me All Night Long' starts playing*

Well, seems the hamster in my brain has decided to fling itself off the wheel again and is now twitching on the floor... So I'm going to scamper off, finish my coffee and go run some errands. I honestly look forward to getting out of the house for a bit...especially on such a beautiful day ^_^

-Adieu