Early morning, strong coffee and I have to take Ellie up to her mechanic again because...well, ever since I got her back, she hasn't been idling correctly. She sounds like she's constantly cold, her purr isn't stable and...well, she's randomly Shut Off while sitting at a red light (Right when it turns green) or while I've driven down the street. And she's been running warmer because of it too (last thing I ever want is for her to over-heat). She did Not have these issues prior to the ignition hiccup we had a few weeks back. So he basically needs to bring her idle back up and check and make sure he's got the timing correct on the spark plugs. That's it.
Hopefully he understands that this was Not an Issue before I took her in the first time, because I can't afford to pay for it. But this is my mechanic, he's an honest and genuine person and treats me like one of his daughters, so I doubt he'd do that to me. I always recommend him when friends need a good mechanic, which says allot.
In other news, I know I haven't been writing all that much lately, at least not here. I've been...emotionally pushed to my limits and am Finally starting to settle. The crazy is definitely present but finally manageable. I just thwack it with a stick when it starts acting up and it whimpers and runs back into its cage with its tail between it legs. We have a new understanding ;)
I also go in tomorrow morning to finish paperwork O'Doom at the Halloween Store I applied for so I can figure out my new work schedule. I have a feeling I'm really going to love working there and so far, the people I've met are pretty damned awesome.
Also on the agenda today is to call our apartment management office and find out when they plan on doing their 'new' inspections. We were under the impression it would be this week but we haven't heard anything, so I figure it'll be around next week. I just hope they actually give us a day and that it's not Tuesday because I have to go out to a dental appointment in Santa Clarita at 3pm to get a new crown I've been waiting on since last month.
So ya, besides the small stuff to keep me busy I'm still working on helping my Dad. He's not as panicked when I'm home because he knows I'm here, which makes it a little easier. But when I'm not home, he tends to let his brain get the best of him and I'm constantly bombarded by urgent phone calls for things he remembered that he thinks I forgot or didn't think of. Being home is stressful because I feel trapped and helpless, being out of the house is even more stressful because I worry about him and end up getting phone bombed of him needing things or him asking me when I'll be home or making me feel bad when I don't come home right away because he needs my emotional support; my company.
I feel like I've lost a great deal of freedom right when I was starting to venture forward, away from home. Finally making a plan and trying to execute it and the fates throw a tsunami of debris in my path. It explains the crazy I've been going through, trying so desperately to adjust like a calm human being that I was suddenly chained down and thrown into a cage. Like a Wild Animal trapped without consent and forced into domestication. Naturally, I reacted on instinct. I went a little nuts. I have a serious problem with being told what to do, I've never wanted to conform or be apart of the collective, I've always walked my own path. So being forced to suddenly take care of someone who had done all of this damage to themselves because I'm the Only one around... Is hard. No matter how much I love my Father and how close we are, I felt betrayed. He always preached, "We brought you and your brother into this world, you owe us nothing." but I always told him if I had the means I'd take care of him. Honestly, taking care of my father Does Not Bother Me. It's just the entirety of the situation and the unfortunate reaction of my twisted emotions that's made it so hard.
Well, it's getting better. Even if I've been pretty dark and have felt negativity spilling from my lips, it has. Each new sunrise is yet another beginning, a brand new day. Another reason to get up and keep going. Life is not easy. It's draining, chaotic, hard and sadly very short. So instead of allowing myself to be beaten down by all the negativity, I'd much rather focus on positives of today. Cherish the fleeting moments because they go by so quickly.
I've decided to enjoy the time I have with my Dad, no matter how much he grates my nerves sometimes. Things will improve, they've already started to... So that's definitely something to be thankful for.
Alright, time to finish my coffee, idle Dad's truck to keep her battery warm, wake up Ellie and get her to her 'Doctor'. Hopefully it won't be an all day thing, but we'll see.
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