Irritated and Under Pressure

The days have been trickling by... Seeming endless at first; a slow progression of mechanisms turning, a relentless machine that continues on into eternity. You set a date, which seems so impossibly far away and try to focus on the tasks at hand. Nervous and anxious on how you'll be able to accomplish all that you've set out to do after being trapped for so long... A delicate Leaf at the mercy of the wind.

But over time, the hours and days begin to blend into each other in a rhythmic succession, and you start to notice you're no longer at the mercy of the universe. You're apart of it, flowing gracefully along the current of productivity that seems to carry you over obstacles you never imagined scaling.

Encased in this positive energy, the old tunnel-vision has been wiped away, and you're able to view the world in all its complicated majesty. You find yourself looking forward to those busy days, knowing you'll be surrounded by the people you've come to know as Family. Knowing, that as hard as those days might be, you'll be in wonderful spirits afterward. That the hard work and inevitable exhaustion is well worth the price.

*sips delicious coffee O'doom*

Caffeine is also a wonderful invention for some of us who rise in the early hours like Thriller Video Rejects. And in my case, I may end up needing a Caffeine drip permanently attached. *chuckles and shakes her head* 

But as these busy days have passed, I've realized...how quickly they've danced by. This coming weekend, is the Last Weekend of Faire. And in all truth, I am heart broken at this painful realization. I should say, it's finally kicking in that this season has gone by ever so quickly and will come to a close this Sunday. *lets out a soft sigh, brings her coffee cup to her lips and drinks down the rest of its contents*

And now, I shall make another cup of liquid doom... *gets up and makes another cup*

*returns with her magical, coffee goodness*

As I sit here, I'm enjoying the blessing that is the cool breeze as it swells with the scent of the sea through the open windows. A welcomed relief after a smoldering weekend of dry, flesh singeing heat. A nasty warmth that was hellbent on slicing through the skin in an attempt to cook its helpless victims from the inside out. Definitely not pleasant while having to work in it.

I hope, that Mother Nature is forgiving this coming weekend... So much to do, with such limited time to do it. 

Not only is the Last Weekend of Faire approaching, but I also have to be packed and ready to go Early Tuesday morning; arriving at LAX at 4:35am, for my flight at 6:35am that'll touch down in Illinois at 12:30pm; to spend time with Family for Two Weeks. I hope the heat doesn't follow me...though, I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

I'm also trying to fight back the Anxiety coiled inside me, desperate to rear its destructive head... Nothing is more intrusive than having the 'City Inspectors' telling You, that they Will Enter Your Dwelling...and you have no choice but to comply. They will show up tomorrow at some point... Probably some time after 1pm. 

I'm an incredibly Territorial Creature, and find my hackles rising, painfully, when being Told what to do and there's nothing I can do about it. Also due to the fact, that this is not just a Dwelling. This has been my Home since I was Born. My Father has lived here for over 40 years; and there are Many memories floating within these old walls.

I understand they're just doing their job, which is all well and good, but I am not comfortable with Strangers coming into My Home without Asking. I try to fight my brain from becoming enraged at the thought of, "We can do whatever we want because you merely Rent this place." We've never just merely 'Rented' this place... It's Home. It's always been Home and it will Always be Home.

*takes a steadying breath to calm the tension within her chest and proceeds to ingest a hefty amount of her second cup of instant coffee O'Doom*

On the one hand, Logically, I understand where they're coming from and they're just going by protocol. They're just doing their job. So there is an understanding part of me, that knows this merely a necessary evil and I have to just grit my teeth and deal with it.

The hardest part is pushing back my internal Alpha that is seething with Anger at this coming situation. So I gently remind this hidden beast, that one day, I will own my Own Home and will Never have to bend or answer to anyone ever again.

On a positive note, I have work early in the morning, which will help keep me productive before I come home to their 'Inspection'. Though my skin tingles with Rage, I am going to focus on not allowing Anxiety to overwhelm me and just roll with it. There really isn't much else I can do about it. Especially considering everything I have going on already, this only adds more unneeded anxious energy to it. So I'll take a step back, keep myself calm and collected and brace myself for the chaos I have no real control over.

Is it wrong that I'd LOVE to have This Guy Hiding in My Room when they do the Inspection? -Grins-

*lets out a devious chuckle and shakes her head* If only... ;)

Well my luvlies, I must bid thee anon so I can finish my coffee in a timely manner and proceed to begin the Task of elegantly rearranging my things in an orderly fashion so they have nothing to pick on us about.

-Adieu