Bad Dreams Again

I struggled so very hard to get up those steps... A long set of concrete steps going up and up into my home. But they started to sink; each footfall and I found myself pulling my foot out of wet concrete. But then I looked down... Each step suddenly came to life. I could see that an imprint of my footstep suddenly turned into a picture of my foot, and around each step was drawings... My Drawings. I realized only a few of those steps going up were still wet, and it was more being careful not to smudge the beauty before me. I managed to climb those beautiful stairs and made it to the top. The tips and balls of my feet had a thin coating of white on them, but I wasn't worried because I knew it would dry.

I remember standing at the edge of the high doorway, unafraid, when I turned and gazed down those steps and for a split second I saw a step at the top that I must not have seen. It was the face of an Alien Queen staring back at me with a blaze of Blood Red Fire licking her massive crown. Her jaws were slightly unhinged, lips pulled back and I could see those magnificent nearly translucent teeth gleaming up at me. It was a warning. But not towards me. She was snarling protectively against any who dared get too close...to me.

I continued on my journey...

Dangling off the edge of the high doorway, I realized that it was coated in white plaster I could easily break through. With my left arm grasping the side of the door frame, I began tearing into the plaster, pulling away chunks and watched it dissolve when it fell from my hand. It took little time to finish the hole I had created. No one was going to stop me from getting into My Home. Period.

...The dream shifted...

Poison filled pleasantries danced through my ears, mocking my struggles, acting as though the pain I was feeling had no relevance. "I don't get it," the voice thundered with a sarcastic lilt, "no big deal, nothin' to be upset over." Such an indifference toward me... As he stood next to another faceless stranger, acting as though we were merely acquaintances from long ago...

I exploded, "Nothing to get upset over?!" I jumped the railing toward the next flight of stairs below and landed on the balls of my feet directly in front of him and his shorter companion, whose face was nothing but a blur. He took a step back as I brought my shaking hands into view; they were covered in blood. "This is Nothing, huh?" I snarled with a dark smile pulling at my mouth, appearing more like a snarl as I inched toward him, "This, isn't Nothing."

Wide eyes peered at me in fear and confusion, as if I'd just shattered their well constructed front no one could ever get passed... I was seething with Rage. "You're not worth it." The words were spoken slowly, deliberately. My voice was low and empty as my face smoothed out and swept away all expression. I could see the reflection of it in his frightened gaze... The light in my eyes had gone out, death had taken its place and I didn't recognize what I was seeing. But knowing it terrified him...curled my full lips into a demonic grin. 

I left him there on that lower level to ingest what he'd experienced and continued my journey, ascending the stairs that led me home...

...another shift in the dream...

People around me, discussing but not really saying anything meaningful. A room of living white noise I couldn't focus on. I was too drawn to the metal cages to my left. On silent footsteps I glided over and saw tiny black birds inside. Sparrow like in shape, but they were completely black. I offered my left hand to them and in the next instant, I had several black birds sitting on my shoulders and along my collarbone. I didn't have to cradle them as they clung to the top of my black shirt; nestled against me as if I were their living sanctuary.

And I remember something strange... I peered off in the distance, and could see myself standing there, as if I were watching it on a screen. My hair was in a long braid that swept over my right shoulder, where most of the tiny black birds decided to nest. I noticed that on the left shoulder there was barely any bird droppings, but the few I could see became a line of white chalk. It didn't look unclean, just strange. Then the view began to slowly pan out and I noticed I was wearing a long sleeved, flowing black dress but my feet were bare and I could still see some of that dried concrete along the tips of my tiny toes, making them appear like porcelain. I was standing in a small clearing, surrounded in forest...

I was suddenly pulled back into my body as streams of milky light broke through the swirling mist that trickled through the thick treetops... And just ahead, was a speck of bright red... It seemed to dance within the shadows, playful and innocent. The more I focused on it and took a silent step forward, I realized what it was...

It was a Cardinal. Just like the one I saw in Illinois. As soon as the realization hit me, it was suddenly there, bouncing in the lush, green grass a foot in front of me. I couldn't help but smile as the small fingers of my right hand gently stroked the incredibly soft feathers of the black birds still perched along my shoulder and collarbone.

Without warning, the Cardinal was suddenly among them, a stark contrast of Brilliant Red against the Deep Black of the other birds and my dress.

It was strange...as the view shifted once more and I was watching myself standing there. The view panned out slowly from the Cardinal... And it was almost haunting... I stood there, my ivory skin appearing ghostly pale under the murky streams of sunlight that were subdued through the swirling mist that danced around me into the trees. The Cardinal a living Flame as he sat between the feathered Shadows; their eyes clear obsidian dots that glistened intelligently under the murky light.

It was a picture akin to Silent Hill... But there were no monsters lying in wait... Just a girl and her feathered friends... Peaceful.

*  *  *  *

And I woke up with my bladder protesting to be emptied lol *chuckles and finishes off her first cup of strong coffee* You'd think with all that crazy going on that I had to have taken something before I fell asleep. But nope, I went to bed completely sober. Scary, huh? *shakes her head with a smile and wanders off toward the small kitchen to refill her Nightmare Before Christmas Coffee Thermos*

Mmm Strong Coffee... *smiles happily before breaking out into a yawn* Oi...XD

Ya, some really strange dreams. Not completely unpleasant, not to me anyway. Allot of symbolism there, especially with the Black and Red (which happen to be Two of my Favorite color combinations). 

*shrugs* I got nuthin'... :P 

I think, it's time to wake up s'more, enjoy this wonderfully dreary morning (a thick marine layer blocking the Harsh sunlight with a wonderfully chilly sea breeze dancing in through the open windows ^_^) finish drinking muh strong coffee O'doom, and enjoy the rest of my day. 

Yay coffee! *chuckles*

-Adieu