Aware and On Edge

There's a heaviness around me... Like a fog I can't quite shake. Trapped in this haze of exhausted confusion after having an uneventful rest after last night's highly unusual Night Terror.

Psychologically, I'm fairly certain there are those of you that are wondering what dark creation my mind has harbored all these years to create such a blood chilling dream state. I've been thinking the same thing, or wondering at least, but honestly... Really thinking about it, I've faced those old emotional demons. I've accepted the bad things of my past and they've Never appeared in my dreams. Then again, my Dreams have never really been like most.

I'm actually quite capable of figuring out my dreams, even when I'm experiencing them and understanding whether or not they're purely psychological manifestations in need of sorting themselves out. And when this happens, the Nightmares aren't all that frightening. They're more uncomfortable than anything else.

This kind of Night Terror is an Island unto itself.

Because it wasn't my Mind creating it. I know that for a fact. I know that I wasn't Alone, that whatever that Living Mass of Pure Black was... It did not come from some twisted region of my mind. But the scariest part...is that it Was Familiar. I've sensed it before... But not like this. Probably because the other times it's tried to attack me at my most vulnerable, I was able to react and get away from it before it got too close.

This time, I was too weak... I am physically weak and emotionally drained, more so than usual. The 'Screaming Eagle' landed a week early and I had to cancel work on Monday because of it when right now, I can't afford to do that. And no, having a Period did Not bring this on. I usually have weird dreams when I suffer my monthly Self Destruct Sequence, but nothing like this.

This Specific Darkness usually comes after me during the day when I'm weak and trying to take a nap. Whatever this Thing is... Knows how to get passed my Guardians and drag me to a place where they Can't protect me and I have to fend for myself. 

I'm usually able to out smart it. Because in that horrible place... I can't defend myself. I have to be smart enough to stay just a few steps ahead of it. But this thing is Smart... It targeted me at one of my weakest states and actually managed to leave Physical Bruising before I finally got away.

I'm not kidding. It wasn't the way I was sleeping, seeing as I was stretched out on my stomach. It left me with a very tender spot just above my left hip and just beneath my ribcage. As if some Thing with Huge, Clawed Hands grabbed at me so hard, it left the muscles tender from the force it used to hold on to me.

*shudders and lets out a low growl before taking a hefty drink of her coffee* And again, it ain't the period O'doom that caused the discomfort. That's a whole different kind of pain that is strictly Internal and has nothing to do with the muscles along my ribcage.

And what really scared me, was knowing that I could feel my guardian/muse (You know who) Struggling to get to me. But he was Literally blocked. And that Black Mass...I swear, I could feel its twisted pleasure that it finally got me separated from him.

*shakes her head* Well, it's over... But the weirdest thing was afterward, when I was trying to get it all written out and had it ready to go... The computer was acting up. And not in its usual 'I'm an old machine and you're pushing it' kind of glitch. It acted as though it had some kind of Virus. Just to be safe, I made a point to do a System Restore and that actually seemed to help.

*pauses for a moment and takes a calming breath* Uh...right as I was typing that... The computer lagged for a few seconds. For no reason.

Alrighty then... I'm just gunna ingest my coffee and not think about last night...

-Adieu