A few days of peace, a few days to myself where I wasn't always on edge... Instead of running around doing a bunch of errands, I was exhausted, emotionally and mentally. I just stayed relatively still and enjoyed the quiet of being alone with my two feline boys. Even they were calm and peaceful... They're very connected to me so it must've been nice for them too.
As you know, Dad went into the VA hospital's ER late Tuesday night and they found he'd gotten an infection. So they decided to keep him, which I was thankful for. I was under the impression that they would remove more fluid from his abdomen, but apparently they decided Not To... *takes a small breath* Instead, they scheduled an appointment for Tuesday, and they're sending a shuttle out to collect him but there's a catch; they'll only pick him up Downstairs. I appreciate the fact that they are coming to get him, but our biggest problem is getting him down the stairs. I guess I'll just have to figure out how to get him downstairs and how to get him back up the stairs when they bring him home. They typed out on a peace of paper that he's approved for 6 months of transportation, but thankfully we won't be here after December 17th.
Also learned when I went downstairs, that my Dad's old red toyota pick-up was eyeballed by a meter-lady (they never come around here) because I hadn't been able to move it. Why? It's a manual. Thankfully, I remember how to drive a stick shift, so that's not the issue. It's an old putt-putt that'll bunny hop if I don't work the clutch just right along with the gas pedal. Thankfully, I got her started, put her in first and let her putt forward a little, found reverse and re-parked her a'lil further forward but closer to the curb. Looks like I'll be getting up very early, every three days and finding different places to park her before I'm confident enough to drive her around the block. I actually enjoy driving a stick-shift, so I don't mind so much.
Now I fight the strange uncomfortable energy starting to inch it's way up my spine, tiny tendrils spreading out along the nerve endings, attempting to put me on edge.
I'm ready to be outta this place. I've come to realise that it's not healthy for me to be around my Father, especially by myself. Every inch of my spine tenses up, including all of the muscles around it. I have so many knots in all the way down my spine that you could punch me and I'd barely feel it.
For the time being, I'm just going to go inward and sit here for whenever he gets up from his nap, and do the same thing I do everyday; wait on him hand and foot.
I really wanted to be able to see friends this weekend, even just to get out of this house and sit outside somewhere drinking coffee, it doesn't have to be far. Sadly, I couldn't go very far myself even if I wanted to because I barely have enough gas to get up to the store let out drive a few miles...and even than Eleanore could get pissed off and decided to stop working altogether.
Good times...
Anyhoo, I'm gunna shut it and find something to melt my brain with.
-Anon
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