The body aches, muscles and tendons scream in protest as I retrieve my first cup of coffee. I'm half asleep when my Father shuffles out of his room and immediately starts in on me with questions. I ask him to give me some time to wake up, my voice low and more of a growl than my usual tone.
He says, "Okay" but apparently the very calm request is devoured by his thoughts and he continues to talk to me, and instead of snarling at him, I'm too exhausted emotionally to really bark back and merely grumble "Give me time to wake up" this time sounding out each word so he can understand me clearly.
He hears it, sort of... And waits a few beats before resuming his questions.
While he rambles and I reply, "Yes Father" I notice something being shimmied under the door. I wait a few seconds to move, knowing that someone has purposefully walked as quietly as possible up our hallway so as not to disturb us (otherwise I would've hear them long before they even got to the first set of stairs) and as my Twelve year old Feline Child Pez begins to investigate the strange piece of paper, I remove myself from where I'm sitting and collect the unknown pamphlet.
At first glance (which was incredibly brief due to my level of caffeine) Dad asked what it was and I murmured, "Oh, it's just about the Bible." and set it down...until the hamster in my head brought its wheel to a screeching halt and hit a switch that reads, "Replay image". The words I skimmed over made my brow furrow.
"Can the Dead...wait, what?!" I exclaimed inwardly and retrieved said pamphlet to get a good look at it. And this is what I find...
It's a good thing they hadn't stayed long enough for my brain to register the words and the meaning behind them. That's the last thing a young woman needs to read while taking care of her very sick father who may in fact not live for another year due to his condition.
Especially a young woman who goes into a Hulk-like Rage while half-asleep.
I'm not angry...I'm appalled at such an inappropriate thing being shoved under my door.
I won't take it personally, in fact I find that the 'Verse have a very twisted sense of humor and continues to throw things at me on a daily basis, testing the resilience of my already worn out sanity.
It's odd though, Religious Type Folk generally don't come to our door asking us if we'd like to hear about their personal pantheon/theology. Honestly this is the first time in years a Jehovah's Witness has ventured into our hallway. And in most cases, they'll put their little pamphlet On the door.
I don't have an issue with it, we're all allowed to believe in something. I follow my own path, Nature Based and very simplistic. And I love having friends that have their own faith, that can have a great conversation about how much we all have in common. What I'm Not okay with, are those that Impose their religious beliefs on me, trying to convince me that I'm wrong because their religion doesn't agree with it. Thank the great Bob in the sky that I don't have friends like that. Ya see... And I can't stress this enough, it's called 'PERSONAL BELIEF' the only reason you don't agree with someone having a different faith of their choosing, is because You, Yourself, Don't Agree.
It baffles my mind that people don't seem to get that. We can all get along just fine, all having whatever beliefs of our choosing and the Earth would continue spinning...well, until the core cooled, stopping our rotation altogether and we'd thus lose our gravity and possibly get sucked into the sun or drift off into space...
Sorry, gettin' off topic here.
Ah rambling at it's finest. At least it's entertaining? [I like to hope so lol]
Yes, I'm a bit of an oddball who doesn't have a straight forward answer to the ever popular, "What's your religion?" question. It's honestly a bit of everything, strong bits of old world Pagan, Egyptian, Norse and a whole lot of Native Shamanism.
It comes down to this; I Will Always Treat Others, As I Myself, Want To Be Treated.
I feel old saying this, but even to those who have wronged me (in ways that a brick to the head would be perfectly justified) I find myself showing them kindness. Why? Well...why not? Life is so terribly short and it's not in me to ever be cruel. I tend to go the other route; kill'em with kindness. And not because I'm trying to be better than others, I'm naturally a very kind and loving person, and I refuse to become something that I'm not (even if I have a Hulk-like Temper in the morning). It also has to do with the fact that I can easily picture myself inside the other person's head and feel what they're feeling (yay for being an empath). Negative emotions physically harm me and to know I've caused that to someone else... It's debilitating. It's probably one of the worst things I can ever experience... And if someone has negativity toward me, whether they don't like the way I look or something I said or didn't say, or maybe they just can't stand me... I immediately Know. No bullshit, I will physically feel a tingle between the top of my shoulder blades, just at the base of my neck and my chest tightens. And all I have to do, is either hear their name or see them (whether in a picture or in person). Which may explain why High school was an emotional hell for me...
I wish I couldn't feel emotions... But then I wouldn't be able to communicate with Animals and Kids the way that I do.
Yay for a double-edged sword! -chuckles at herself and takes a drink of her coffee O'Doom-
Which explains why it's been so difficult dealing with my current situation. One, I'm connected to my Dad, He's also connected to me...and we're both 'sensitives' but I'm female so that adds the crazy hormonal factor... Mix that all together and have'em stuck with each other for long periods of time and you've got yourself a nuke waiting to go off.
Trust me when I say, there have been a few occasions that's almost happened. And it seems to be getting worse the closer we are to moving. I'm just gunna write it off as the fates doing everything they can to push me to the edge (think a final boss battle) because they know that very soon, things are going to greatly improve and they're pissed that I haven't snapped yet.
-shakes her head with a soft chuckle-
Well muh lovelies, I think I've rambled on enough...needs me s'more coffee goodness and something amusing to wash this 'thinking' from muh brainpan XD
-Adieu
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