Gone But Never Forgotten

An invisible hand trails icy fingertips along the exposed flesh of my arms, cooling the skin as it whispers playfully around me before swirling away. Warm streams of sunlight bleed through the cloud layer for a moment only to drench me in silver shadows as they move lazily within the heavens. I peer up to my left at the thermometer hanging from a wall on the porch and it reads 62 degrees Fahrenheit. It is a beautiful overcast morning that reminds me of home.

A Snapshot of the sky as I started writing...weird how the cloud looks like a figure

Pandora radio continues to entertain me as the song 'Runnin' with the Devil' starts playing brings a quiet smile to my face. A song I've blared on my portable speaker while driving my beautiful Chevy along the winding road adjacent to the cliffs of San Pedro. Windows rolled down, smelling the chilled sea air as the growl of that 350 rumbled through the frame, as though she were purring. 

It seems Pandora is in a Supernatural mood as 'House of the Rising Sun' begins pouring into the crisp air. Yet another song that takes me back, reminding me of cherished moments that will remain alive and well within my memory warehouse.

Dad and Ellie in 2010

It's interesting, the state I'm in. There's a kind of peace churning through me as I type these words; a stillness that stretches the valley of my full lips with the beginning of a smile.

-lets out a soft chuckle as Journey's 'Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)' starts playing-

Interesting lyrics... Considering where my thoughts are and what today means to me.

Oddly enough, I'm actually doing okay. Yes, today at 7:53pm marks the One Year Anniversary that Dad slipped away. Yes, it's a painful reminder of how life can literally change over night. Yet, I'm alright for the moment. Which I prefer rather than being a complete mess. 

A quick snapshot while I'm continuing to write/type on my phone ^_^

 -grows a bright smile and starts rocking out as Tom Petty's 'Last Dance With Mary Jane' begins playing-

I love that Pandora is playing songs that really make me think of good memories and moments of home and time spent with Dad. Songs that really resonate with the child inside, the innocence that's been in hiding. I can feel her peeking out from behind one of the shelves in my memory warehouse, a basketball sized Clydesdale plushie held close to her chest in one hand, her other grasping the clawed hand of a large skeletal shadow that crouches protectively next to her; the smooth curve of its eyeless face peering forward, lips relaxed over its silver teeth, inner maw hidden from sight. A smile pulls at my lips as Led Zepplin's 'Over The Hills And Far Away' begins playing and I can feel the innocence begin to tap her foot to the beat.

There's just something in the air today, an energy I can't quite explain that seems to be speaking to me with a wordless voice only my soul can understand.

I've yet to watch last night's episode of Supernatural "The Prisoner", which like last year, is the second to the last episode of the Season. It's strange... Last year it was exactly the same. In the sense that it showed on Tuesday and Dad passed away the next day, a Wednesday. Earlier this year they moved Supernatural to Wednesday and wouldn't you know... It showed last night, and today is the anniversary. Gotta love random synchronicities.

I'm sure it'll be a good day, at least I'm hoping so. After I finish this and post it, I'm going to watch the new episode from last night and later today at some point, I'm going to sit down and watch 'The Fog' the original version. A movie Dad and I watched every April 21st... I didn't get a chance to this April, so in honor of our Tradition, I'll make up for it and watch it today.

I'm sure it'll be bittersweet, but I'll survive. If I can feel this calm until tonight, I'll be good.

Got creative with a picture I found on the interwebs and made it nifty on my phone last night :)

And on that note, I shall bid thee Anon, grab another cup of strong coffee (Yuban's Pacific Roast; Dad's favorite) and get to watching.

-Adieu