My Own Pet Xenomorph ^_^

Tired eyes focus on the softly glowing monitor before her, the soft movement of air flowing behind her from the fans circulating fresh air through the quiet room. A pulsing ache settles in her lower back, echoes of the day before, less sharp today allowing her some small relief.

The slow pounding rhythm of Bad Company's 'Bad Company' flows from the gaming headset's speakers into her ears, music pouring through her senses allowing her to focus on the soft tapping of her small fingers along black keys.

A small curve pulls at full lips as 'Paint It Black' by The Rolling Stones follows as she tries to find the most colorful way to convey the endless thoughts dancing within her mind. They're flickering in and out of her grasp, teasing her like formless fireflies along the darkened landscape of her inner world.

*-*-*

That was the beginning of what I was starting to write yesterday, but never got past the third paragraph.

So as of right now, I'm drinking my third cup of coffee while 1994's 'Wolf' plays in the background, the movie pouring through the headset as I type away along black keys. One of my favorite werewolf movies with a fantastic score, amazing cast and superb writing. Such an underrated movie, I highly recommend it if you enjoy a more thoughtful, haunting kind of werewolf story. Honestly brilliant.

I've always loved werewolf movies, the thought of getting a gift of transformation by a powerful creature that's a blend of human and wolf, I would honestly be thrilled. Especially the myth where you are still you, despite the physical changes.

I think I've always loved that idea because of being made to feel helpless when I was very small and later on as I grew. To be able to shift and actually protect yourself as well as others...that sounds like heaven to the scared littler girl buried within.

Speaking of that little girl, I was playing around with a free image generator (yes, A.I., don't hate me) and I was able to create something that represents what my inner world looks like when I mention my inner child being protected by her dream guardians. I wanted to share one of them.

That's a very close depiction of what it's like in my mind, hidden behind my eyes.

Ever since I was four years old, I had a deep fascination and love for Xenomorphs. Especially when I finally saw Aliens when I was about, I wanna say six years old when it was available for home video. I remember watching it and wanting to be like Ripley when I grew up and also really loved the Alien Queen, which is weird yes, but considering it's me, it makes complete sense.

Dark creatures and spooky things have never really bothered me (for obvious reasons) but one reason I've never really mentioned before is that...I learned in single digits that it's not the monster under your bed or the thing in your closet you should be afraid of...it's usually the one sleeping in the top bunk bed.

-grows quiet while she takes a slow drink of her coffee, clears her throat and continues-

When I was small, I wished I could bring my dream guardians to life. Honestly, that would've saved me a lot of future trauma. 

Watching themes in my favorite shows, like Supernatural for instance, about creating a Tulpa. Gods, I'd give anything to be able to do that. Bring an imaginary friend to the physical reality? That'd be friggin' sweet. I'd definitely never have to worry about being alone anymore. It'd be nice to have the company late at night when everyone's asleep, you know?

Heh...I'm a dork. Going off about imaginary friends like I'm just a big kid. Honestly, yeah. No surprise there.

-smirks, shakes her head and takes another drink of her coffee, listening to the music of the end credits as it plays in another window on her computer-

Gotta love multitasking. Makes my magical little Neurodivergent brain happy.

Anyhoozle, I'm gunna jet. See ya'll in the morrow.

-Adieu