Hark! Shenanigans Doth Approach!

*chuckles'n'sips instant coffee o doom*

Man... Talk about having a long week and even Crazier Weekend at Faire. Faire itself, actually went by too quickly to be honest (compared to the week o doom I encountered) but that's okay :P I even got a new hat of Doom :D Which was by Total Accident and I am Still, Incredibly Grateful for the most awesome Faire Present Of Doom ^_^ I completely Blame Luke (fellow Rabble Rouser) because we were all sitting in the FOF Garden after First Joust, and I was being my naturally Spaztic self...and decided to steal his Hat for a second (totally his fault for taking it off and setting it down in front of me in the first place :P) And apparently it looked Really Good On Me... So much so, that I was then Dragged away by Chris, with Luke along side, to get the very Same Hat.

I'm still in shock... But it is the coolest Hat Ever! :D *chuckles and gulps down the rest of her instant coffee o doom*

And it's been Years since my Voice has been this damaged *chuckles* It's really raspy and not because I was shouting either. I was projecting (like ya do) but add that to being exhausted and Faire Dirt flying around... Not good for the vocal chords o doom. But you know what? Getting my Crowds to yell Epically Hilarious Things...totally worth it. XD

Nothing beats hearing your section Roar 'Black and White' (Their Knight's Colors) so loud your ears threaten to start ringing or yesterday, having them randomly cheer, 'Knight Of DOOOOOOM!' I actually lost it and started snorting XD Even had a Giggle fest with the some of the patrons due to the 'Faces' I was making in their general direction. *giggles'n'sips coffee*

You'd also think, considering the fact that my schedule for work today doesn't start until 3pm, that I should be sleeping right now... I actually Passed Out last night around 9:45pm due to being so exhausted. I set my alarm for at least 9:30am, but guess when I naturally woke up? 7:15am...and figured, "Eh, need coffee anyway." lol

Whoever made this and posted it... Deserves a Hug of Doom! XD

And gotta love the Female Hormones O Doom starting to kick in whilst at Faire... Not only giving me 2'n'a half extra inches All Over of water weight *shudders* (Ya, hurts when you're Squeezed into your usually comfortable Bodice) but it also made me Very sensitive emotionally. Usually, if someone makes an off-handed comment, I can just shrug it off (especially at Faire). However... As embarrassing as this is for me to admit, there was a moment on Saturday that someone made a rather... Unneeded comment toward me about my 'Lack' of 'Chest Size'.

Here is why I was actually taken aback by said comment... It was by a Participant (Someone Working Faire), Not a Patron (Those who pay to enjoy the day). And all I did, was stop him for a moment to Compliment the beautiful Feathers on his hat. He was very snarky about it...and though I continued being in character (also confused as to why he would say something like that) I was in mid compliment about his hat when he saw a female participant walk by, holding two tankards (with obviously more cleavage then myself) and cut me off by announcing something about her 'Jugs' and just walked off.

It pains me to say that as his words danced in my head, his general attitude and rude behavior toward me when it was completely uncalled for... I got very quiet. I was fighting myself to Not think about it, but every time I glanced down to make sure I didn't trip over my skirt, seeing the proof hidden within my bodice, made my stomach twist into knots and caused my ribcage to tighten. The Hormones of doom seriously Did Not Help either. They Always make me more...ick I hate saying this...'Fragile' in a sense, especially when words are used toward me in a hurtful manner. I was angry with myself for reacting the way that I was, so I tried to logically analyze it (which only did more harm than good) trying to see if perhaps I had misunderstood him and perhaps I was over-reacting. But even as I walked through the crowds and a few moments of silly banter with others... As soon as I got into the FOF Garden and went to use one of their awesome (and clean) Privs... Once I stopped, and was alone... I kinda... (Hormones are a bitch)...felt my chest ache which caused my vision to blur as tears began free-falling from my eyes. I tried to suck it up, but ended up choking back my sobs, hoping no one would hear me.

No, that was definitely NOT my proudest moment... Especially when I tried to shut off, finished paying homage to the mighty Privvy Gods and reemerged. I knew it showed on my face and was trying to play it off, hoping no one would look too closely. Well, when you're at Faire around people who Know You like Family, it definitely didn't go unnoticed. I tried to say I was fine, but it came off harsh...and I inwardly cursed myself for my voice betraying me.

But honestly... Having Family check on me, actually caused me to let it out... Releasing the poison, and I truly did feel better. I still feel Incredibly Angry with Myself for getting upset in the first place, and the whole 'eyeball leaking thing' in public... But as rare as it is, it does happen, and a part of me is thankful that it happened in a place where I knew I was safe.

And yes, not having a full bust, has Always been my Biggest insecurity. Especially after gaining and losing so much weight. I've been doing push-ups and upper body exercises to try to 'perk them up' by getting my pectorals developed again, but once you've lost breast tissue, you can't do much about it that doesn't involve drastic surgery.

It took a few hours to get it out of my system because I kept wondering if it was a misunderstanding... But when I looked at it from a different perspective, I realized he was a blatant dick. And because of the Wonderful Love and Support of my Faire Family, I was able to get past it, bitch-slapped my insecurity and enjoyed the rest of the night. I think having a few shots of Jack Daniels before bed helped me with that too :P

So when we had to do it all over again on Sunday, I was definitely in a better frame of mind :D

I Love my Faire Family... If it wasn't for them, that negative moment could've pushed me down the rabbit hole and I would've become so focused on my insecurity that I would Not have wanted to go back, for fear of more hurtful commentary on my appearance.

Ya, it sucks that someone who Works Faire would say that to someone for no other reason than to be an asshole. But ya know what? He's just not worth the energy. Period. And I definitely look forward to next weekend :D

And on that note... I need to ingest this second cup of instant deliciousness o doom... And continue my ascent into being coharant-ish O.o

*chuckles'n'waves*

-Adieu