Crimson Dreamscapes

Dreams can be an escape from the twisted pathways of an unwanted reality. Sometimes, they take you to places you'd never dare travel on your own. Sometimes they force you to face aspects of yourself you never wanted to see.

They force you to face your inner demons...

They make you truly See what's hidden so deep beneath the surface. All the chaos and anger you bury. All the hatred and damage buried beneath the rubble of a broken spirit. You're made to see the fragmented pieces you thought had faded away. You're forced to see who you really are...

Some call those dreams Nightmares... I call them self awareness. Seeing the Monster for what it really is... Just a twisted form of me.

Last night, when I finally fell into unconsciousness I found myself pulled into yet another familiar place. It was night and I was in a house I keep dreaming about. It's not here in california. It honestly looks like Oregon. It's the same area, the same streets and sidewalks. The same clear skies above a thick canopy of trees. This place has been showing up in every dream I've had since Dad died. I believe it's where I'm going... And every time I dream of it, the image is clearer and it feels more and more like home. It's where I belong.

When I was first walking through the house, I found a door to a room I hadn't entered before. I opened it and peered inside and saw the right side profile of a man, made of shadows... He went from sitting to standing. I closed the door and it took a moment for my brain to realize Who that shadow was. I opened the door and when I looked inside to seek him out...he was gone.

It was Dad.

Once again, it was a brief moment, he was in the other room, but this time I caught a glimpse of his outline and shadow...but I missed him.

-sighs-

The next part of the dream is just as odd. A few friends were in the house with me and I remember looking out toward a window that faced the backyard (no fence) that peered out into the forest. A Huge Grizzly Bear approached the window frame (there was only a screen seperating us) and it's shoulders were wider than the window, so it couldn't get through. The thing is, the window was almost six feet wide. It was Massive. Someone who was standing off to the side exclaimed, "Hey Erin, looks like someone wants to talk to you." And they didn't seem all that afraid of this mammoth grizzly approaching the window.

At first, neither was I. Until it reared its lips back and started roaring at me. It was Pissed...and I knew it was because of me. It was a literal manifestation of all the rage building inside of me. 

I knew it wasn't going to hurt me, but it was frightening. It's amber hazel eyes seemed to shimmer brilliant golds and fiery reds as it snarled and growled for me to face it. The scariest part... Those were my eyes, in the face of this incredibly dangerous animal. She was fucking livid.

The dream shifted and I was with four guy friends that I knew were all very protective of me. One in particular was the sweetest on me, but I can't remember his face. I just know he had light hair and pale eyes; possibly blue/green and had a deep voice. He was an old friend, someone I knew I could trust and be safe with. The reason the four guys were around me is because they were protecting me from something that was out in the woods...something that was hunting me. And the bear was the last thing they were worried about. It was something unnatural. 

While we were all camped out in this house, everything was very dark, possibly close to midnight and the power was coming from a generator on the side of the house. It was like we were in a cabin in the middle of very thick woods.

I was wrapped in a blanket and sitting out back, looking up into the starlit heavens as the other three patrolled the house. The fourth was holding me. I felt loved.

I can't remember exactly what happened, but the next thing I know there was a wound on the lower half of my left leg. I didn't freak out, if anything I expected it. One of the other three was there, wondering what happened because I was literally Covered in blood. And it wouldn't stop. I told them it wasn't a big deal, I just had to squeeze the poison out. And even though I was running the garden hose over it, I couldn't get the blood off. All I could see was red, all over me, making my pale skin appear ghostly. They were terrified that I'd lose too much blood, but I told them this was normal. That I was stronger than I looked... I wasn't afraid. Even though...it's the most blood I've seen in a dream in a very long time.

I honestly looked like Carrie's stunt double.

It was just... Weird. 

I also remember in another fleeting part of the dream, three Lynx cubs playing around me. And the smallest kept rubbing against my legs. The darkest markings with the lightest amber hazel eyes and black ears...a small female.

While this was happening, there was a Huge wolf nearby just watching us. Specifically, his electric blue gaze were trained on my face. And it was as though he was made of fog and shadows, but I remember those eyes... He was looking right through me. As if waiting...

No idea what any of it means... Well, no, I actually do...most of it anyway.

-smirks- The blood generally means something big is about to happen and happen fast. Heh...we'll see.

Toodles.

-Anon-