Awakening

They whisper, so sweetly... Like playful melodies streaming away from the delicate lines of a record as it spins. These thoughts, so many it seems, drift and flow behind my eyes with no rhyme or reason as to where they'll end up. Like glowing fireflies floating off into the black.

I've been suffering strange dreams again. Intensely real dreams that even when I wake, won't stop playing behind my eyes as if I wasn't meant to leave. And they've been incredibly pleasant, which is a nice change from suffering nightmares almost every time my head hit the pillow for the last few weeks.

I felt safe there and loved. It was a place I had escaped to and it was so real... The people were real... It was a whole other place; another life I remembered as mine. The only stress there was getting a shower in time before I had to get dressed for an event I was attending with friends. I was given peace, even if it was in dreams.

And a part of me wishes I was still there...and that I hadn't finally pulled myself awake. As soon as my heart fluttered with a stronger beat, forcing me to take deeper intakes of air, I knew I couldn't go back.

So I have these wild visions in my head of where I've been, the people I was close to and the places we went and the times we shared. It feels real... And who knows, maybe it is. Maybe sometimes our dreams are truly another place where we can be free. At least, I'd like to think so...*smiles*

Anyhoo, I'm feelin' a bit better then I did a few days ago. Got some pain out due to breaking down even when I'd fought to stop it. Crying did help, it was necessary to heal these rampant emotions. But it doesn't change the fact that I, myself, hate crying. It's messy and you get all swollen and it just makes me feel weak... Probably explains why I don't let myself cry when I need to, at least partially. The other reason is I just...don't. I am literally the only dry face in the house at a funeral. It's weird...I go into this calm state of mind and it leaves little expression on my face. I've been told I look intense and cold, but that's just the surface. Underneath, I'm being torn apart with emotion. That's with Humans. If it's a Furry loved one; I lose it. Weird, huh?

Wow my thoughts are all over the place tonight lol.

On a positive note, I am trying to get my creative edge back. I am actively pushing myself to get through the emotional block that's seemed to put itself in my way. Gotta love these human emotions...gettin' all up in muh biz-ness! *laughs and shakes her head* Why Yes, Ladles and Jellyspoons, I Are a Dork! *grins*

I even created something in good old fashioned paint last night. (points below)

Nifty, huh? I like it...I've never done anything like it before and was surprised at myself for really needing to finish it. Almost as if I were possessed by some unseen force... And ya know what? I'm glad I made it. *smiles warmly*

On that note muh lovelies, I'm gunna scamper off, have me s'more coffee and get to finishing something that I started not too long ago that when I finally get to posting...ya'll will really enjoy.

Well...if you like Riddick, Mercs, Aliens and Predators...*grins*

Now I bid thee anon...*gets slightly distracted* Oh look at that, Supernatural is on... Mmm I do love me some Winchesters...

*giggles*

Adieu!