It's baffling... I wonder if perhaps my words actually sank in while he was in his very confused state throughout the night and early morning.
And just hearing him again, the tone that tells me he's Still There... Loosened something deep inside but also caused another chip to shift and fall away.
Reminding me that's why I deal with the chaos inflicted by his failing liver. The sleepless nights and arguments that make my head spin and heartache. My Dad is Still Here. Trapped. So all of this madness, the weight bearing down on my breaking sanity... Is worth it. Just for these rare moments when I see my Hero again.
*swallows the hard lump of emotion that's lodged itself in the back of her throat*
I'll keep fighting to have more moments like this. Those small glimpses of the defiant soul that's wandering helplessly through a terrible fog of confusion. If there's a way we can Save Him, if there's a chance I can Bring Him Back... I'll do it.
I miss him so fucking much... He's not only my Dad, but one of my best friends.
I thought this needed to be shared considering how dark my last post was...
Nothing is hopeless. Just gotta keep pushing.
There's always a way back from the dark.
-Adieu
No comments:
Post a Comment