Heat slithers along the flesh causing a wave of faerie like pearls of moisture to appear along a living landscape; the body's attempt at cooling a sleeping form as the mind remains in dreamscape. Yet within that pleasant inner world, not all is what it seems. Words, unexpected and spoken with no regard to the damage they could cause, forces all conversation to come to an abrupt stop. The pause seems to stretch out into eternity as I just stood there, feeling the aftermath of what those words provoked and feel a sting threaten the lash line.
I was standing between two faceless friends, speaking about something so mundane that it's almost hard to remember. The person to my right had asked about a salary of some kind and I had simply stated something along the lines of, "I believe it was eight dollars an hour." when just after a breath, the person to my left spoke. Her tone was as cool and unfeeling as a robot speaking about the uselessness of human emotion.
"It was seven an hour." she corrected firmly, "You know, you keep doing that. Since you never know what you're talking about, you should just stop talking and keep your mouth shut."
The person to my right just blinked shock from her eyes at what she'd just heard, saw the look fall over my face and was about to go off when I was pulled roughly from the dream, sat straight up in bed and choked on the sobs that had crawled up from the back of my throat as tears began streaming down my face.
Rattled, I checked the time, a little after 8am, wiped the offensive moisture from my eyes and decided I needed to get dressed and walk to the store. A quarter to 9 o'clock I was out the door and walking. Despite how tight and sore every muscle is from my hips down due to running amok this past weekend bare foot in the sand and the lovely sunburn I've acquired (absolutely worth it), I needed to get a few things. I didn't care that the temperature outside was already at 95 degrees Fahrenheit (with humidity) and climbing. I was so emotionally thrown by waking up in tears that I skipped coffee altogether. Many of you who know me well enough, know that something has to be wrong if I consciously choose not to have coffee the first thing when I wake up.
The walk was pleasant enough despite the torrid rays of the sun searing my already cooked flesh. The soreness throughout my tired form actually appreciated the short trek to and back from the corner mart, allowing everything to stretch and loosen enough so that my movement has become more fluid and not as jerky due to how much my legs have swollen from rapid muscle growth.
It allowed me to clear the fading echoes of those painful words from my mind, but the feelings struggled to find purchase, leaving an uncomfortable lump of anxiety in the back of my throat. Even now as I listen to Pandora, familiar music haunting my senses and soothing the inner beast...there's a ghostly tightening in my chest. Slowly but surely it'll pass, especially now that I'm on my second cup of coffee; an old comfort that's never failed me when I was at my lowest.
And on that note, I'm going to go entertain myself for a bit and possibly write something more interesting when I get back, especially since I was at Belmont Shore's Pirate Invasion this past weekend ;)
-pauses when Led Zeppelin's, "When The Levee Breaks" starts playing and grows a genuine smile-
See you later, muh lovelies.
-Adieu
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