Good Morrow muh luvlies ^_^ I would've created a blog this morning but I was too excited and distracted by the thought of Vin Diesel going Live when his likes on Facebook hit 40 million. But he came on and updated that he'll make it for 7pm Pacific time, so I have a few minutes before that happens. (I've been a long time Fan of him and his Page, and when he has a Live, it's more like hanging out with old friends because he takes the time to talk and interact with us)
Let's see...what else. Got allot of stuff goin' on... Good things, but I feel a little discombobulated.
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| This is what the Inside of my Brain Looks Like lol |
Remember that Good Opportunity I mentioned? I got a call yesterday and now have a Job Interview tomorrow at 10am. (Fingers crossed) I could Definitely use a productive change ^_^ Not sure how it's going to pan out, but I'll be sure to keep you posted. I'm trying to stay laid back about it, stopping myself from getting anxious or having too many expectations. Because if I get too hopeful, it won't happen. And it's not so much that I'm really excited about getting back on my feet again, I really need a steady income, because it's not just myself I need to worry about. No matter how much my Father tells me I don't owe him anything, I am determined to help him out in any way that I can. And he can't argue with me if I have the money to do so :P
I'm a little nerve-wracked about working Faire too. Sure, I got the three classes done (that were required) but I still gotta plan on a new bodice, shoes and putting my garb together so I can get it approved. Can't stress over it, one step at a time.
I still haven't cried over unexpectedly losing another loved one to Cancer on the 13th, (I found out the next day) which was only a Month and Two days of losing someone to Cancer as well. *takes a calming breath* I'm trying to keep my chin up, eyes forward and focus on the future... But apart of me feels trapped inside a tunnel of white noise.
But on the positive side of all of this, I'm no longer stagnant. I'll be kept busy. Interview tomorrow, possible CPR and 1st aid certification for said job, Pre-Faire on Saturday and on Sunday, seeing my Aunt and Cousin. And let's not forget, working on a Daily blog and finishing studying my Huge GED book, taking several of it's practice tests before taking the Real Thing.
If I happen to start working (I'm hoping for 8 hours a day, Monday-Friday) My week will be filled up, not to mention my Weekends will be spent Volunteering at Faire. If this all happens before the end of this month, I will be Busy Every Day between April until the End of May.
It's gunna be Nuts! *grins* Eh, why not? I no longer wanted to allow time to just slip by...so I asked the Great Spirit to help me start over and keep me busy.
Talk about one hell of an answer, huh? *giggles'n'shakes her head*
I honestly didn't expect any of this to happen. I was ready for a change, but I had no idea where to start. Instead of hiding away like I'd wanted to, when asked if I wanted to go to the first Friends Of Faire meeting, I decided, 'Why Not?' And because I went, not only was I able renew my FOF membership for Faire, I was asked if I wanted to work this year. I decided to actually think about it...and that was back in February. I didn't shy away or put it off, I just went with the flow without any real plan and it seems to be working out. Same thing with the Job Opportunity. I decided, 'Ah hell...why not? Definitely something I'd be naturally good at and if I don't get a call back, it's cool' and the next thing I know... I have an Interview.
I could've let myself focus on all the possible negatives that may present themselves, a way of bracing myself for more upheavals. But than I stopped myself and thought about it... If I focus on the Negatives, I'll empower them and they Will manifest in the way I fear. If I simply take a step back and reevaluate my thoughts and allow myself to be Positive, than I won't be setting myself up to Fail, stopping that nasty little voice in the back of my mind from chiming, 'See? Nothing ever good happens!' Heh, ya... No, not gunna happen. I've been actively changing my brain's attitude about things. Ditching old, emotionally destructive behaviors that do me little good and learning new, self motivating ones that will help me in the long run.
Life is too precious and short to remain hung up on negativity. Gotta make Each Day Count. I don't want to look back and go, "Oh I wish I had done this...or if only I had said that... I could've been..." You know where I'm goin' with this.
I want to truly start Living. I never truly understood that Truth until I'd lost so many loved ones in an incredibly short time period. Over 17 Souls since 2009. Most of which I still have not, properly mourned or grieved over. I know it'll eventually come to a boiling point and I'll cry myself to sleep... But right now, too much to do to stop and fall apart. And it's not a stubborn thing, I just can't. I think about it, and I feel a little numb. Guess it's just my brain's way of protecting me until I feel safe enough that I can.
Or I'm just seriously weird lol
Well my luvlies, I believe it's time to bid thee anon and see how tonight pans out... So much to do, so little time...
-Adieu
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