I woke up with my heart in my throat...
Having been struggling to breathe in a life like dream as a wave of tears fell from my eyes and poured down onto my legs like warm rain.
I knew I was in New York, Manhattan to be exact, and was in a flat of some kind with friends. An unknown male (who I knew was a friend of mine but couldn't really see) was teasing me and had grabbed me from behind, not to hurt me, but was going to tickle me. But I stammered and told him that wouldn't be such a good idea, due to the pain that would inflict due to a skin condition...
There was a girl there, and she noticed he had paused and was curious as to why I'd stopped him, and in a sneer of a voice, announced, "No body fucking cares that you're broken..." as her words hit my ears I remember being slumped against him and looking at my ankles, pain swelling in my chest. "You're not going to get sympathy for being a freak, you're just feeling sorry for yourself."
When her voice faded into the tense air around us, I could sense the concern in his silence, it was becoming more palpable with every breath he took. I remember feeling defeated...and within that watchful quiet, tears began to pool along my lashes and stream down my face. Before I could stop myself, I watched as tears fell from my eyes like small sheets of rain; warm splashes against my legs as I struggled to bring my face up.
I remember finally getting to my feet and trying to get away... Even though it was a small flat, not allot of space, I needed to run, to escape.
And I startled myself awake, slightly panicked that I'd missed my alarm and started scrambling to find my phone. Once I got my motor functions down and my eyes adjusted to the darkness of my room, I found my phone and peered at it's screen. It was only 6:46am...a quarter 'til it would go off.
I decided to get up anyway, paid my morning homage to the porcelain god and went straight for the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. And even as I waited for the water to finish being cooked, the images of the dream seemed so real, especially the emotion...like a memory I just couldn't place. A memory I want to forget.
And even now, as I'm nearing my second cup of caffeine, the dream dances behind my eyes. Emotions lingering like a bad taste in my mouth. I want to wash it away and let it fade into the white noise of my mind so I can focus on my Day and the Interview I have at 10am.
*shakes her head and finishes off her first cup of coffee* Helluva way to wake up to the Spring Equinox. *smirks and proceeds to get another cup of caffeine* Not really sure why I had that quasi-nightmare, but I do know that a few tears did escape my attention last night when I was trying to mellow out about things I'd been stressing over. Tears that needed release when I thought of my Friend/Sister Lory and my Mom's Friend Karen, who had been like an Aunt to me. Just a few danced along my lash-line and trickled along my cheeks.
One sec, water's ready *shuffles off for another cup* And back... Random question, you ever notice how the top layer of your coffee tends to look like a Galaxy after you've put milk and sugar and stirred it? It's fascinating to watch the swirls... *chuckles* Ya, definitely half asleep.
It's 8:05am currently and I need to get my ass in the shower at 8:30 and be out of the house and over at my friend's place at 9:00am so I can pick up the copies of my revised Resume he was awesome enough to print out for me last night because I don't own a printer. Than off I drive, hopefully making an early appearance to where I need to be.
I think it'll go well. It's less about being anxious now, and more about just getting it over with. I'm honestly That tired. *chuckles and sips coffee* I just want to get it done and maybe stop by my favorite park, maybe take some bread, and film myself hanging out with the Squirrels, Geese and Duckies that live there. If they're friendly with me when I don't have any food and they know it, I can only Imagine how they'll react when I'm hand feeding them. I may end up covered in Squirrels! *laughs*
We'll see what happens. *grumbles in a sleepy manner and takes another drink of her hot caffeine o doom* Man I miss Real coffee. Sure, this stuff ain't half bad, it gets the job done... But it's just not the same.
Eh, it is what it is. Might as well make the best of it :)
It's either insta-coffee or none at all... And if that happens, well...
Not very pretty, is it? *giggles'n'shakes her head*
And on that lovely Visual... I shall bid thee Anon, and I'll be sure to update my luvlies later today when I return ^_^
-Adieu
-Adieu
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