It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn

Darkness surrounds a quiet figure as night fights to remain within a sleeping landscape... Knowing that there's precious moments left before the first rays of a new dawn chase the watchful shadows away in streams of honey colored light.

An over active mind dances with life; mechanisms churning and twisting in a tireless fashion as electrical impulses race from one pathway to the next. An organic labyrinth filled with playful imaginings hidden behind endless doorways; secret passages that seem to go into eternity.

That's a pretty way of saying I'm half asleep but my brain is on full power *chuckles'n'sips her instant coffee o doom*

I probably should've gone to bed sooner... 'Probably' being the keyword here *smirks* but I had things to do, one of which was finally finding muh friggin' bloomers that I need to complete my garb for Faire (aka Southern California's Renaissance Faire) because today, is the Dress Rehearsal before Opening Weekend...which is next weekend; April 6th.

Ya see, I usually get kinda giddy the night before, so it's normal that I don't get enough sleep, and seein' as I have to show up in Full Garb (along with thousands of other Participants) I became even more excited and had to put that extra energy to good use. I even made a point to workout (I've been lacking for a little while due to bein' a little stressed) made myself feel a lil noodley but still had too much energy. And I needed to find those gorramed bloomers! *chuckles'n'shakes her head*

After watching Grimm with my Dad (I need to watch that Series from the beginning) I got off my butt and ventured into the nightmarish depths that is my room. (No, it's not a huge mess. It's become more of a storage room, which will change Very soon once I'm able to go through several things and get rid of them) Now here's the comical portion.

I'm standing there, slightly perplexed as to why I have this vivid memory of these Bloomers, but couldn't for the life of me, remember where the hell they were hiding. So, I decided to ask for help. "Lory, a little help?" I mused aloud, hands on my hips... When I clearly heard her voice reply, "Check the Suitcase." 

I blinked, wondering if I was actually imagining it...but found myself even more stumped when I realized there was a suitcase in front of me, buried beneath a few bags, set on top of this old love seat that's been in my room since the Ice Age (It seriously needs to go). That was the last place I ever thought to look.

So I ventured toward it and had to remove a bag filled with old clothes I need to wash, sort and take to a goodwill, and as I neared the suitcase I heard, quite loudly in my head, "Wait, that one."

"The bag?" I asked while pointing to the one I was about to lift. I swear I heard that Sigh she always made before she gave the 'Look', which meant she was going to smack you with something, pinch you or bite you. "Yes, bonehead, that one." Was the flat retort I received in my thoughts and could only chuckle and shook my head.

And wouldn't ya know... I opened that bag and there they were! "Hey, look at that! I got Bloomers!" I exclaimed to an empty room and Lory's voice filled my head, "There ya go." I could almost hear her smiling.

"Thanks Lory." I announced warmly and just as I was putting everything back in place I hear her add, "You're welcome... Now clean your damn room!" Hearing that, followed by her evil giggles actually made me snort and start laughing.

I seriously would Not have found them had I not been given a little help. I can't say for sure if it was really Lory talking to me (It almost felt like being on the phone with her, if that makes any sense) or if it was me just being crazy (which I am, to an extent lol).

But I found my bloomers and just so happened to have a needle and thread to finally sew up the tear I'd made in them Years ago. I stitched them up, put them with the rest of my garb and got my butt to bed.

*pauses to take a drink of her second cup of caffeine as a thoughtful look dances across her face* Ya know... I realize that I tend to remain happy-go-lucky after someone passes... I grasp on to those happy memories and try to remain positive as best I can... Because if I stop, even for a moment, and really think about it... The pain begins to well up in my chest and I feel my heart begin to break.

I've been trying so very hard to stay focused on everything I've been busying myself with. But...I am mourning. I just don't like sharing it. I don't want others to see I'm hurting when they're hurting too. I don't want to make it about me, because it sure as hell isn't. We're all hurting. Some more than others. So I try to remain bubbly, thinking that maybe my natural spaztic self will ease the pain, even a little, for those who really need it.

I truly miss Lory (among so many others) so very much, that as I write this...tears threaten to spill down my face. Lory especially. Faire honestly Will Not be the same. I know she'll be there, in her own way... But... Like so many others, I feel like we've been cheated... Her flight came way too early and we didn't have enough time to properly wish her a safe journey.

*takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly and chugs some of her coffee*

And on that happy note... The breeze just kicked up out of nowhere, birds have begun singing and the dark horizon is slowly beginning to glow with the new day. Which means I finish this, finish my coffee, get clean and get myself in Garb.

*huggles tight*

-Adieu